Remember the last day you were here? You hugged me and afterwards you told me on Whatsapp that you've already been looking for excuses to come again. To see me. You told me you wanted to tell me how much you loved me but the words were just kind of stuck in your throat.
Of all the conversations we had every day before the split, how many plans were made? Next time when you come again, we will eat this, we will watch that, we will do this we will do that. I even started all the baking things because initially I wanted to make something for you. You told me you wanted it. How am I supposed to react now knowing you will come again in two weeks. In only two weeks. What about the tasks you gave. I have even gained 3 kg instead of getting closer to the 48 goal. Because half of me knows it's no use anymore being 48 if it's not for you. But half of me still wants miracles and wants me to appear beautiful in front of you.
All of this chaos emotions inside me only makes me feel more certain to leave. I really need to; it's a must for my heart healing. I need a completely new world to get rid of you from my mind. From my heart. How is that even possible if I keep waiting for you in silence, just like this? How am I supposed to control my heart? You seem so easy moving on from me. Am I actually that forgettable?
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