Shadow

Do you remember how you instantly became so happy until you couldn't fall asleep the night before I promised I would go meet you?
Do you remember how I broke your heart when I said firmly I needed to move on and insisted to leave you?

You begged me not to go... just like how I am begging you now to please lessen this pain you've created for me...

Deep in my heart I always want to believe you still have me.

But I know...

Even if I don't have much time left...
Even when I'm feeling extremely hurt....
Even if my wounds are still unhealed....

Even if... I died tomorrow....

You still belong to another woman. Another woman....
You're still gonna live a happy life with her.
You're still thinking of me as merely your forgotten past.

Nothing is gonna change.

But...
Even when I don't have much time left..
My heart still has only you.. it starts bleeding again that the tears start falling too..

But...
Even when my inner scars are still unhealed, I keep adding the scars to my arm...

And...
All you care about is only her. Cause she lives in your present. I.. only existed in your past.. the past you have forgotten.

Even when all your promises and each your words are still here in the bottom of my heart.. you have got over them all. And I am the only one left broken in pieces.. just like this.

Tears.. please stop flowing already.
Scars.. please get healed already.
Memories.. please fly away and don't ever come back.

God.. I swear for the million times, I'm in so much pain now.. will You please stop punishing me... I can't bear it..

Baby. Thank you.. I never had any idea you could hurt me so so much like this. You who always loved me.. but now you have her....

...

"Come on, please open your heart already.."
"Mom, I'm worried about him. What if he really takes a very long time to start his life without me in it?"
"You actually believe it? No men could stay being without women, trust me."
"But he is so different, Mom. What if..."
"...."