Yiping who was also in love with Shuhuan as if there'd be no tomorrow without him.. had been trying to clear it up but the hurtful Shuhuan didn't even let her start. Shuhuan went to the extend of going out with Ruping, who everyone knew had always been madly in love with him. It took no time for him to decide to get engaged with her.
Yiping who was still waiting in a hope that Shuhuan would understand her innocence, heard the news that came as a complete shock. Trying to pretend strong, she came uninvited to the engagement party. Ever since Shuhuan left her, Yiping had been weakened both mentally and physically. But she still insisted going to the party to show him she was strong. So she went. At the party, Shuhuan couldn't not pay his attention to Yiping. Until Yiping fell dizzy and was about to leave the spot, Shuhuan was following her without him realizing it. On the way home, Yiping stopped by the Xidu brigde, to see the sunset, she said. But Yiping who was half conscious started to climb the bridge.. and while singing, she said she was looking for her spikes. She always thought of herself as a hedgehog which only by having her spikes around, she could survive. But the spikes had been snatched away... by someone who ended up leaving her. At this time, one of her shoes fell down the bridge. Instinctively, Yiping jumped down to find it. And that's how she got back her man. At this crucial time, Shuhuan realized the only one he loved was Yiping.
. . .
Sumire was a handsome man with a bitter love life from the past. His first love, Seri, which happened to be also his real love, with whom he'd spent years in a love relationship, dead from leukemia. After Seri'd gone, Sumire found a hard time to live, so long that when he finally "came back" to live, he wasn't really himself. He could never get Seri out of his memories. He could never start another love with another woman.
Until one day Yuri came to the family as a step sister. Yuri was so far from Seri by appearance: Seri was like a woman every man could dream of, but Yuri was a complete opposite. She wasn't pretty, she didn't have that model figure at all. But she fell in love with Sumire and was satisfied by only having a one-sided love. Sumire couldn't figure it out at first but unknowingly, he had started to fall for Yuri... who turned out to have Seri's personality inside her. He could finally love again, loving someone who didn't resemble his former true love by look but by heart. That's what he'd been searching all the time.
. . .
I am not Yiping who got misunderstood by the person I loved. No one got me wrong, and even if I was jumping off into the river and while he knows best that I can't swim, I would end up dying and he would still be with another girl. That's life, baby. I can't ask Qiong Yao to make it last forever for me and him, for she's not my life's director.
There's this one time when we were riding by a river that was rising up, I said to him I'm so afraid looking at the water. I can't swim. And he, half jokingly he said, no worries, you know I'm best at swimming, I will surely save you from drowning. Cheesy, you say? You don't know him enough then. He's not someone who knew how to say sweet things just to make his girl smile. All I could feel was my heart so touched I could shed tears that time hearing that. But that's just a past. A painful past now that I can't get rid of such memories off my mind. And my head still stores a bunch else, if you want to know. So can you imagine how hard it is for me at this time around.
And he's not Sumire, either. Such true love only exists in a story human created, but the real life is directed by God. No such thing as having your heart closed entirely and forever, after you're left by your former lover. A man like Sumire never exists for real, and that's how it's supposed to be. Cause life goes on. Men are men, they are a creature that gets weak by beautiful women. As much as I'm hurt now by the fact he's erased me that instantly and that easily.. still, even if this was a story written by Akemi Yoshimura-sensei, I wouldn't want to ask the sensei to make him like Sumire. Him, the one that now left me wounded like this, I'd still want him to have a happy life even if it means he has erased me this quick. My wounds, my scars, this painful story which happens to be a bitter reality for me, will eventually be merely an episode of my life. A painful one.
More than a week already since the first nightmare.. my heart's still aching.
SH
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