(Not) Fin(e)

On a piece of ripped paper
I wrote down how I feel about you
It becomes clear somethin’ bout you

You’re similar to me but different
I wonder if you’re the same as me now
I get my hopes up

When a day, a month, a year passes
We each live different lives

I’m not like that
It won’t be easy for me
You keep taking up every day of my life
It’s not time yet
I keep repeating it to myself like a fool
I can’t swallow the words that are in my mouth
It’s not fine
It’s not fine

I tie my hair up
And I clean my messy room
I’m looking for somethin’ new

Sometimes when the overpowering feeling of
Feeling like I have to do something
Forces me to move

After a day, a month, a year
I thought I’d be smiling and thinking back on it

I’m not like that
It won’t be easy for me
You keep taking up every day of my life
It’s not time yet
I keep repeating it to myself like a fool
I can’t swallow the words that are in my mouth
It’s not fine
It's not fine

Meaningless jokes, talking back and forth
I look like I’m fine among people
I smile pretending like I’m dull
I try to turn away from the shade that is you

I keep thinking of
Our last moment
Our breakup was simple, all we said was goodbye
It’s not time yet
I keep repeating it to myself like a fool
I can’t swallow the words that are in my mouth
It’s not fine